Not Your Average Counsellor

Should You Change Who You Are for Your Partner?

💭 Is love about compromise, or should you be accepted exactly as you are? This episode dives into the fine line between healthy growth and losing yourself in a relationship.
 
Inside This Episode:
❤️ The nature of change. Relationships naturally shape us, but when does growth turn into self-sacrifice?
🎭 The pressure to change. Societal, cultural, and personal expectations can make you feel like you’re not “enough” as you are.
⚖️ Compromise vs. self-sacrifice. Adjusting habits is one thing—abandoning your core identity is another.
🤔 Are you changing for YOU or for them? Self-reflection is key. Is this growth or just people-pleasing?
💬 Love and acceptance. Should true love embrace you as you are, or push you to evolve?
🚧 The role of boundaries. How to maintain individuality while still growing as a couple.
⚠️ The danger of losing yourself. Signs you’re sacrificing too much and how to reclaim your identity.
🔄 Can a relationship work if one person won’t change? Knowing when to stay, when to push for growth, and when to walk away.

What’s Your Role in Coercive Control?

💭 Could you be unknowingly enabling, experiencing, or even exercising coercive control? This episode unpacks the complexities of manipulation, power, and control—helping you recognize, address, and break free from harmful dynamics.
 
Inside This Episode:
⚠️ What is coercive control? How it differs from other forms of abuse and where it shows up in relationships, work, and family.
🔍 Recognizing the signs. Isolation, gaslighting, financial control—coercive behaviors can be subtle but damaging.
🤔 Are you being controlled? Self-reflection questions to help identify coercive control in your life.
💬 Are you enabling it? How societal norms, silence, or dismissing concerns can reinforce controlling behaviors.
🚨 Could you be exercising control? Understanding the root of controlling tendencies and how to change harmful behaviors.
🧠 The mental toll. Anxiety, depression, and self-doubt—how coercive control affects mental health.
🔑 Breaking free. Steps to exit a controlling situation safely and reclaim independence.
🚪 Setting boundaries. How to establish and respect healthy boundaries to prevent coercion.
 

Is It Possible to Be Friends with an Ex?

💭 Can you truly move on while keeping your ex in your life? This episode dives into the emotional, practical, and relational challenges of post-breakup friendships—when they work, when they don’t, and how to navigate them.
 
Inside This Episode:
❤️ Why do some people stay friends with an ex? Shared history, mutual respect, or just avoiding awkwardness?
🛑 When it’s a bad idea. Mixed signals, lingering feelings, and the struggle to truly move on.
🗣️ How to set boundaries. Friendship only works when both parties are on the same page—no blurred lines.
⏳ The role of time and space. Taking a break before trying to be friends can be the difference between healing and heartbreak.
💡 Does being friends impact future relationships? How new partners feel about it and when transparency is key.
🚩 Red flags to watch for. Is the friendship really healthy, or just an excuse to hold on?
 

Should You Tell Your Partner If You Cheat on Them?

💭 Is honesty always the best policy, or can some secrets do more harm than good? Today, we’re tackling one of the most controversial relationship dilemmas—should you confess to infidelity, or take it to the grave?
 
Inside This Episode:
❤️ What counts as cheating? Emotional affairs, physical infidelity, blurred lines—everyone defines it differently.
🤔 Why do people cheat? Unmet needs, emotional disconnect, impulse—let’s unpack the reasons behind betrayal.
⚖️ The ethics of honesty. Is confession about accountability, or just easing guilt?
💥 The impact of telling the truth. Can a relationship survive an affair? Or is it better left unsaid?
🛑 What happens if you stay silent? The weight of secrecy, guilt, and the risk of being found out.
🗣️ How to have ‘the talk.’ If you choose to confess, when and how should you do it?
🔄 Can trust be rebuilt? Strategies for moving forward if both partners decide to work through it.
🚩 When silence isn’t an option. Signs that keeping it hidden could cause more damage in the long run.
 

What Are Your Thoughts on Open Relationships? Can They Work?

💭 Are open relationships the key to deeper connection, or a fast track to heartbreak? Love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and today, we’re exploring the world of non-monogamy—its challenges, its benefits, and what it really takes to make it work.
 
Inside This Episode:
❤️ What exactly is an open relationship? It’s not just one definition—every couple creates their own rules.
🔄 Why do people choose it? Freedom, variety, deeper intimacy—what’s the real motivation?
🗣️ Communication is EVERYTHING. Without trust and clear boundaries, things fall apart—fast.
😬 Let’s talk jealousy. It happens. But can it be managed?
🌱 The unexpected perks. Some couples say non-monogamy makes their connection stronger—could it?
⚠️ And the challenges. Misalignment, insecurity, and social stigma—can everyone handle it?
🤔 Is it right for YOU? Not everyone is built for open relationships, and that’s okay.
 
💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! What do YOU think? Could an open relationship work, or is it a disaster waiting to happen? Slide into my DMs, email me, or share your thoughts on socials.
 
If this episode hit home, send it to a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time—stay true to you.

Is It Okay to Stay in a Relationship If You’re No Longer in Love?

Is It Okay to Stay in a Relationship If You’re No Longer in Love?
💭 What if love isn’t gone, just buried under routine? Or what if staying means sacrificing your happiness? This is one of the toughest questions in relationships, and there’s no simple answer.
 
What We’re Covering in This Episode:
❤️ How do you know if you’re truly out of love—or just stuck in a rut?
🔥 The difference between passion fading and emotional disconnection 
🤔 Why do people stay: fear, obligation, or hope for change?
💍 The role of commitment—should it outweigh emotional fulfillment? 
🧠 What happens to your mental health when you stay in a loveless relationship?
💡 Is it possible to reignite love, or is it sometimes best to walk away?
 
This episode isn’t about giving you a black-and-white answer. It’s about helping you explore your own truth. If you’re facing this question in your own life, you’re not alone—and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
 
💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! I want to hear from YOU. Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do? Slide into my DMs, email me, or share your thoughts on socials.
 
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Until next time—stay true to you.
 
💡 Want to know more?
Join MMI here
Follow me on socials – Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn
Explore my Services here

Welcome to the New Era of Not Your Average Counsellor!

Welcome to Not Your Average Counsellor 2025!
I’m back with bold, thought-provoking conversations on relationships, mental health, and personal growth.
This season, we’re shaking things up with big questions like: 👉 Should you stay in a relationship if you’re no longer in love? 👉 Should you tell your partner if you cheat? 👉 Have we turned co-dependency into a love story?
No sugar-coating. Just raw, honest discussions embracing life’s messy realities.
Your Voice Matters – This podcast is a two-way conversation. DM me, email me, share your thoughts. Let’s talk!
The Me, Myself, and I Mastery Program is BACK!
🚀 Next intake: March 17 – Ready for change? This 12-week program is designed to get you where you truly want to be.
Past participants have: 🔥 Reignited marriages 🔥 Launched businesses 🔥 Shifted careers with confidence ✨ Set boundaries & prioritised their mental health
I teamed up with Maria Doyle, an Instructional Designer and past MMI participant, to make the program even better.
Join us as we discuss:
What makes MMI a game-changer
How a strong learning environment fuels transformation
The power of accountability
Maria shares her first-hand experience—if you’re on the fence, this is for you!
Join the Conversation!
This season is all about real, raw, and necessary conversations that challenge your perspectives.
If today’s episode resonated with you, if you’re feeling stuck or ready for change—you’re not alone. Check the notes for MMI details.
Got thoughts? Questions? Stories? Let’s shake things up together!
Stay curious, stay bold, and most of all, stay true to you.
💡 Want to know more?
Join MMI here
Follow me on socials – Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn
Explore my Services here

Navigating Toxic Relationships: Is It Me or Is It Them? (PART 2)

Have you ever wondered if you're in a toxic relationship but just can’t quite put your finger on what feels off? Maybe you’re questioning if it’s you or them.
Toxic relationships aren’t limited to romantic partners. These unhealthy dynamics can show up with friends, family, and even colleagues. You might not even realise how much they’re affecting your mental and emotional well-being until you know what to look for.
In this episode, we continue the conversation from Part 1, where I shared Jane’s story to show you firsthand how toxic relationships can play out. In this episode, we dive further into the behaviours that make these relationships so damaging—things like manipulation, control, and emotional abuse.
If you’ve ever felt drained or confused, this episode is packed with insights to help you spot the red flags and take back control.
If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, I highly recommend starting there so you can fully understand how these dynamics unfold.
Take a moment for yourself today and tune in. It might just be the clarity you’ve been looking for.
If after listening, you feel you need extra support, my team and I are always here to help you navigate these challenges. Feel free to book in a ​FREE 15 minute chat​ to discuss how we can support you.
Additional Support Services
Support for Victims of Financial Abuse
Hotlines and Helplines
1800RESPECT
White Ribbon Australia
Banking SupportMost banks have dedicated services to assist victims of financial abuse. Contact your bank directly or visit their website for detailed information and support numbers.
Domestic Violence SheltersMany shelters provide financial counselling and resources to help victims regain independence. (See resources below.)
Support for Victims of Physical Abuse
Domestic Violence Shelters: Family and Domestic Violence Women’s Refuges
Hotlines and Helplines: 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732
Non-Profit Organizations: Centre for Women’s Safety & Wellbeing, White Ribbon Australia
Legal Assistance: Legal Aid Western Australia

Navigating Toxic Relationships: Is It Me or Is It Them? (PART 1)

Jane’s story is one I can’t keep to myself—it’s too important.
Jane walked into my office with a smile that hid the pain she had carried for years. On the surface, she seemed to have it all—young, intelligent, beautiful, and financially independent. But beneath that, she was grappling with a toxic relationship that drained her energy, poisoned her self-worth, and left her questioning her reality.
And Jane isn’t alone. I’ve seen more and more women, just like her, endure these same struggles. But let me be clear—this story isn’t just for women. Toxic relationships affect people of all genders—the pain, confusion, and damage that come with being in these kinds of toxic dynamics.
In this episode, I unpack what it means to be in a toxic relationship, how to recognise the signs, and most importantly, how to navigate your way through it. You’ll hear Jane’s story (shared with permission), shining a light on a new kind of toxicity that often hides in plain sight—relationships that might not involve physical violence but still take an immense toll.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
What defines a toxic relationship and how they can show up in romantic, family, or even friendship dynamics.
Why you might feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or doubting your feelings.
The subtle but powerful ways toxicity erodes your sense of self.
Jane’s name has been changed—not because she’s hiding, but because she’s been silenced by the legal system. This story is her voice, and mine, speaking out for those who feel they’ve lost theirs.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re navigating a relationship that’s tearing you apart instead of building you up, this episode is for you.
If after listening, you feel you need extra support, my team and I are always here to help you navigate these challenges. Feel free to book in a ​FREE 15 minute chat​ to discuss how we can support you.
Additional Support Services
Support for Victims of Financial Abuse
Hotlines and Helplines
1800RESPECT
White Ribbon Australia
Banking SupportMost banks have dedicated services to assist victims of financial abuse. Contact your bank directly or visit their website for detailed information and support numbers.
Domestic Violence SheltersMany shelters provide financial counselling and resources to help victims regain independence. (See resources below.)
Support for Victims of Physical Abuse
Domestic Violence Shelters: Family and Domestic Violence Women’s Refuges
Hotlines and Helplines: 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732
Non-Profit Organizations: Centre for Women’s Safety & Wellbeing, White Ribbon Australia
Legal Assistance: Legal Aid Western Australia
 
 

Parenting Your Parents

Are you in the position where you're not just a son or daughter anymore, but also a caregiver to your parents? This is something I’m going through myself right now, and I know how overwhelming it can feel.
In this episode I explore what this generational role reversal really means and why it happens. I also share my own experience navigating this journey, which, to be honest, I’m still figuring out.
Listen to discover:
Understanding why our roles change with our parents as they age.
How to manage the emotional rollercoaster that comes with caregiving.
The impact on family dynamics and relationships, especially with siblings.
Practical tips for managing your own well-being, and finding support.
Whether you’re already in this role or seeing it on the horizon, this episode offers insights and advice to help you navigate this space with empathy, patience, and strength.
If after listening, you feel you need extra support, my team and I are always here to help you navigate these challenges. Feel free to book in a FREE 15 minute chat to discuss how we can support you.
I hope you enjoy this episode! Let me know, share your thoughts on stories and tag @veevincitherapist
If you aren’t following me on the socials, I invite you to join me on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.
And finally check out my counselling practice and services offered here.